The Kinky Girl’s Guide to Dating

A basic dating guide for the novice kinky, heterosexual woman.

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1 Star

Author of this Review:  Nina Grace Ruedas, MS, MFT Registered Intern (IMF67572)

Rating:  1 out of 5 stars.  Basic introduction to some dating concepts that every girl should be aware of, kinky or vanilla.

Author:  Luna Grey; a heterosexual, female, submissive from northern California.

Publishing Information:  Greenery Press.  Oakland, CA.  2004.

Intended Audience:  Kinky women who are starting to date.  Newbies to the BDSM scene.

Memorable Quote:  “The BDSM scene is pretty accepting of many different forms of sexuality – it can be a great place to experiment” (p. 117).

Summary:  This quick and fluffy read introduces some great ideas for women to keep in mind while dating.  The book explains safecalls, an invaluable technique that could save a life.  It also reviews the importance of creating boundaries and not allowing yourself to be taken advantage of.  The author emphasizes why kinky play can require education, time, effort, and a good mentor.  She also reminds her readers that sex can be messy and include a few fumbles along the way.   If you’re completely new to the scene or just daydreaming about dipping your toe into the BDSM waters, you may find this book useful.  Develop some basic kinky vocabulary, learn the benefits of community, and gain the confidence to accept your body and sexuality in new ways.

Professional Feedback from Nina Grace Ruedas:  I was disappointed in the book’s organization and content.  There were too many fonts, run-on sentences, and the “tips” didn’t always coincide with the material presented in the chapters.  I learned everything this book presented while attended my first four kinky events.  You can start with this book, but don’t rely on it to be your only source of dating advice.  Go to munches, get involved in the community, meet elders, find a mentor, join a leather or pansexual club, volunteer, and attend conferences/retreats.  The more people you know, the more you’ll learn.

When to recommend this book:  I would only recommend this book to a BDSM novice or someone who is new to the dating scene all together.  Because this book introduces very basic information about dating and kink, this book should only be recommended as part of a list of resources.